in the end

"Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamned mountain." - Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Burns

Climbing my mountain tomorrow, Rio for the next ten days!

Se Acaba

Last thursday I went to this huge manifestacion. We picked it up in Recoleta and walked with everyone down past the Obelisco to the Plaza de Mayo. The protest was against the current government of Cristina Kirchner. Thousands of porteños came out to show their dissatisfaction with judicial reforms and against  the “re-re” – meaning the re-re election of Kirchner. Many Argentines fear that Cristina will rewrite the constitution in order to “legally” run for another term. Many signs addressed this issue of constitutional edits, reading “no se toca”. I was impressed by the hugely diverse crowd at this event – students, senior citizens, families, babies, girls in school uniforms, dancers, musicians, people chanting, people selling flags – the whole city came out, chanting "se acaba" (it's enough) and "ladrones" (thieves). Clearly, many people agreed with the aims of protest, but of course there are some who did not agree with it’s message – or with the manner of delivering the message. For example, Gonzalo would not attend on principle - he says this kind of protest offers no alternative and is strangely militaristic. I don't know how I feel about this, but respect his opinion, ovbio. It's interesting to see how people choose to participate, or not, in their government. When I commented to him how amazing it is that people are so participatory here, he said "estamos involucrados porque cuidamos la democracia".

Regardless, it is incredible to me to see so many people participating in their democracy – this age of argentine democracy is young and people do not take it for granted. Read this for some more basic information. 

Semana Ocupada

This week was pretty insane.
Monday -
Started working at a tri lingual school! It's a private jewish school that teaches in Spanish, English and Hebrew. Very fascinating. I help out an english teacher and work with kids in pairs outside the class. They are all devastatingly cute and aren't allowed to know I speak spanish...which is hard because it means I can't react when they talk about me! They think its incredible that I can only speak one language. One little boy ran through down the list with me "are you speaking the castellano? are you speaking the frances? are you speaking the aleman? the hebreo? the portugues? no?!" They are seven. A few of the little girls write english backwards perfectly, the teacher thinks its because they learn english and hebrew at the same time.
Tuesday -
I don't think anything really happened here...
Wednesday-
Had a lovely little trip down to the immigrations office where we proceeded to wait on a bunch of lines and pay 45 dollars for residency in Argentina which we legally do not need but whatever, I'm getting over it. It was all worth it to meet the cutest child in the world - a 6 month old with huge fluffy hair named Leonardo from Peru. Emily got to hold him and we were all actually dying about how adorable he was. He literally just sat there and laughed at us for the whole time we were waiting.
Thursday -
Applied for my Brazil visa! Un grande manifestación. I'll write more about it when I have the pictures up. Argentines really don't like Cristina...
Friday -
Picked up my Brazilian visa! It is valid for ten years. Also, Kira and I went to Shabbat at Menora. Menora is like a community center/shul/ community organization. It's huge and they run all sorts of programs. One is a host family for shabbat dinner kind of match up. Kira's cousin did it a few times when she was here 4 years ago. So we went to the center for services (in Spanish it was hilarious) and then went to dinner  with a lovely family. ALSO- fun fact and let's just talk about how small the jewish world is, but this summer when Eyal stayed at my house a few days we met up with his friend from the army (Asaf, who worked the summer at Shomria, my mom's old summer camp and where Eital goes) and his friend from a summer program. Her name is Julia and she goes to NYU. I remember her telling me she was planning to study in Ghana but I guess plans changed because there she was at Menora!

The family we got paired with was really great. There were four daughters (12 year old twins, a 17 year old and a 19 year old) and their father (their mother had left for Israel a few days before). They were pretty observant, as in every week they attend services, have a dinner like this and then do not use electricity during the duration of the holiday. Their house was spectacularly beautiful - all white and glass and red roses. Their mother had made the challah before leaving and their dad cooked dinner, which was served by their maid (that word seems so antiquated, but it's normal here for those who can afford it) seeing as they could not use the electricity. It was really nice to be with a family and to talk with them - about ourselves, about their family history and their experiences with judaism, israel, travel, etc. They all spoke very good english (the little girls didn't speak to us in english really) but we spoke a mix. The two older girls can speak a dizzying array of languages (english, hebrew, spanish, portuguese, some yiddish and some arabic). Their mother is Askenazi but their dad is originally (like pre-Inquisition) from Spain, but his family is from Syria (although his two Syrian parents met in Mexico). So they ate hummus on their empenadas which is probably my favorite culture clash here so far (aside from Oreo alfajores, obviously). It was amazing to hear about their old family stories, to explain to them how college works in the US, and to hear about Dominque's (the oldest girl) 7 month gap in Israel last year. She told us about going to see Auschwitz with her group, which included a girl who found her grandmothers suitcase in one of the displays... The dinner ended on a lighter night when the twins were showing us a telepathic game they play when they guess the word the other is thinking - it was really cool!
Dominique works with Menora to organize events and such, and that night were was a get together back at the center after dinner so we went there and met a lot of people. It was quite fascinating, everyone was wearing business casual, kind of conservative but drinking alcohol and eating bamba and cashews? And singing. We were the only americans there and everyone kept saying "come tomorrow!" for lunch. We already had plans but it was really nice and fun and interesting to see this whole operation.
Saturday-
On saturday Daniele Salima and I went to Magdalena's after hearing stories about their american brunch. Argentine's don't really do eggs for breakfast but this place has classic american brunch food. I got pancakes and they were heavenly. Afterwards, Salima and I walked around and found some amazingly cute places.

                                             That disco ball is in her bedroom, no big deal.

That night was the Language Partners Event, which is what it sounded like. I spoke some spanish. It was fine. My partner didn't come because she was busy with work. Also she was a working professional and everyone else is a kid. Kinda. We ended up going to pizza after with a girl from IES and her Argentine friend and the pizza was Punch status amazing. Once again someone was suprised I'm American. So interesting to truly find out how racialized the national identity of the nation of immigrants is world wide...
That night we went to  La Bomba del Tiempo, which is normally on monday, but once a month I think they have this all night party. Its a huge drum group in this huge center. We got lost on the way there but no matter, we showed up and the show didn't start till like 2 am anyway. There was a guest band from Colombia and tons of people, it was huge!

We met some people from Colombia and Brazil, which was fun at some points and not at others, but mostly good. Again, shocked a Brazilian when I told him I was from the US (literally jaw dropped and exclaiming "no! pero no parece nadaaa!" and thens shocked him again when I said I was 20 ("no! pero parece mucho mas maduro!" yo se, yo se.) I spoke a lot of good spanish and at one point I realized I wasn't really translating in my head! There was tons of good music, beautiful people, and a bit too much body heat and smoke (I legit almost passed out at one point from dehydration). Gonza says "muy bueno, muy vos la bomba de tiempo

muy emma. igual al konex" so that's nice! Buena ondas (good vibes)! Here's a video of a random show from this group click!

Sunday-      

Went to the final film I had tickets for at Bafici,  The Great North Korean Picture Show. Fascinating and mundane. I walked along the Fair on the way home and did something I have been wanting to do - learned some craft techniques from one of the artists at the fair! Andres is a Colombian man who has learned different artesian techniques from his travels through Latin America. He saw me looking at his work and sat me down with some wire and pliers. He teaches classes to make money to supplement jewelry sales. I spent two hours making small round twists in wire over and over again until he deemed it acceptable. It was a lot harder than it looks, considering he can make perfect spirals and coils in three seconds...and it took me ten minutes to make quite imperfect ones! It was really fun though and maybe I will take a class. Then I got home and had to do all the homework I hadn't done all weekend....                                                                                

Feeling Safe

A huge point that gets talked about by students and travelers and study abroad is safety. I think this is a pretty interesting point. Of course, I want to live in a world where it is safe for me, as a young American woman to travel. I want to visit places where I can relax and enjoy what I am experiencing without fear, and I want all others who wish to travel to be able to do the same. Of course, as travelers we must take precautions to make sure that we do not endanger ourselves or those around us. However, it is inevitable that you will not feel as safe abroad as you do at home. There is less familiarity with the location and the people, probably some sort of language divide, and certainly some sort of cultural divide. 

Anddddd of course you should be able to feel safe, and feel justified in that feeling, in the place in which you live (thats a human right, yah?) and work. However, I have mixed feelings still about the ethics of study abroad, about our presence in another country, and the idea that many kids who study abroad have that they should have the comforts of home abroad, be there material or emotional. One of the things we are supposed to be learning about is how to be an other, to break down our ethnocentric views of how things are supposed to work. I don't think it's a catastrophic problem that some people do not feel safe in the places in which they choose to study abroad - that is part of the experiences that teaches compassion for those who are foreigners or otherized in your own country. Many countries in the world are not always safe for immigrants or people of color, including the United States. Additionally, what right do we have to come down to South America and expect to feel safe and protected in the very countries that our own governments have helped to make unsafe for the people who have lived here for generations? (DId you know that the US gov. continued to give Argentina 30 million USD until 1978 and then reinstated that aid in 1982? Thanks, Reagan. The junta was in power until 83, which essentially means that the US gov helped to fund the military dictatorship and its horrifying activities.) 
Why should we feel totally comfortable here, when it is not our country or culture? I personally feel safe here because I blend in - my face does not signify that colonial (or culturally colonial) other, nor does it signify a cultural curiosity, and thus I am left alone and not bothered. I acknowledge that this is a privilege and makes me biased. I am sure that if I felt targeted here because of my skin color I would not be so philosophical about this. But think of all the people in the United States that walk the streets that you feel so safe on - and who have to fear random attacks, police violence, random searches, hate crimes, stares, and the increased likelihood of sexual assault etc because of the color of their skin or their presumed nationality.  Here, North American tourists are not likely to be assaulted in this way, but street harassment is a big deal. However, those who experience it need to know that street harassment does not exist in a vacuum outside of political and cultural implications. The reason men harass women on the street is to assert power and take control, and an idea that I have been thinking about is that among the reasons that men harass WHITE women in the street (aside from this being culturally sanctioned blah blah blah the world is set up to see white as beautiful and desirable) is to, on some level, prove themselves against this imperialist culture that has permeated their own? I am not sure if I am making myself clear, or how even to verbalize this point. But all oppressions are connected. And street harassment is about asserting power and taking control. By harassing white women in the streets, people are asserting that they can take control, even against a symbol of an imperialist culture. I might take this part out later. It sounds crazy and I don't know how to express it accurately. 

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I think the feelings of discomfort many people feel while studying in latin american countries is a lens to learn about the political and cultural relationships and histories that have created our world.  Also, think about the way the media portrays this part of the world and how you were predispositioned to feel fear...Also, think about when you feel unsafe at home and what that says about our own society. I remember in NY2NO talking about being aware of who we walk away from on the street and why, and basically how our world views are racialized without us even noticing it. I also feel uncomfortable walking home from the subte stop at night alone - this is rational and level headed. But I am trying very hard to not take these feelings at face value, and to think about what made it necessary for me to feel this way.  

JUST TO BE CLEAR, I DO NOT THINK ANYONE DESERVES TO FEEL UNSAFE, EVER, ANYWHERE. But I do think that these innate feelings have a lot to teach us about our own positions in our own society, in the societies we visit, and the global hierarchy in general. It can also teach us compassion for those in similar situations worldwide. The articles linked here are almost all from the USA - but there is a huge problem with xenophobia, etc in the Netherlands, in Scandanavia, in Spain, in France, etc. DYOR (do your own research!)

so far

me in Buenos Aires both photos by Gonzalo

My thought process

on an almost daily basis

Braziiiiiil

In my short life, I’ve been so blessed to have traveled to Belize, Honduras, Mexico, Chile, Thailand, Israel, Colombia and Argentina and in three short weeks I will add another name to that list – BRAZIL! 

I still can’t believe that after months of talking about it I actually bought a ticket – the very first international plane ticket I paid for completely on my own.  I’m so excited to be visiting this rising superpower and the incredibly beautiful city that will soon capture the attention of the entire world for the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympic Games. I’m pretty terrified to be in a city where I cannot speak the local language – this was a pretty disorienting experience in Israel, but most Isreali’s speak English and I was with a group of 40 english speakers…with a tour guide…and Sasha who translated for us when we travelled on our own. Apparently, in contrast to many other south American nations, Brazilians really don’t speak English (power to them). Anita's sister Alicia is doing her Fullbright year in Brazil right now! Read her blog post here on her experience being an English teacher in Brazil.

Luckily, I have some contacts in Rio – Kiah who is studying abroad there and Kate SG who is living there for a while. Kiah will have class during the day but we’ll have two weekends to hang out and after classes. She told me today she and her roomates are waiting for me to go to Sugarloaf Mountain – supposed to be one of the most beautiful views in Rio! Kate has offered to let me stay with her and to show me around the city and I could not be more grateful! I’ll have to think of something good to bring her from Bs As (who am I kidding, I’ll bring her alfajores). As my friend Daniele is (most probably) coming with me for part of the time, we will also spend some nights in a hostel.

In the meantime, I will try to concentrate on my homework, dream about the fruit juice stands, find out what days the museums have free admission, read about the gentrification and pacification efforts being made in preparation for the World Cup and Olympic Games and do some DuoLingo Portugues lessons! 

Also here's a weird quote I found online - what?

Latins are tenderly enthusiastic. In Brazil they throw flowers at you. In Argentina they throw themselves.

Marlene Dietrich 

And this one:

No one knows anything about the fashion industry in Brazil. They don't care what you do. They just want the beach and the sun and the fun. I feel the freest and the happiest there.
Candice Swanepoel 

Race Relations

The older I get, the more I am aware that race colors our experience and that my experience is and will be different here than many other girls on our program.

One of the reasons that I specifically chose to come to Argentina because it is a nation where I knew I could blend in. Argentina is fairly silent about it’s indigenous history, and I do not know that much about it (but I am taking a class on it here!) Although there are of course indigenous communities both in and outside of Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires is populated mainly by the descendants of Spanish and Italian immigrants, with people also coming from Eastern Europe (lots of Jews), the UK, Syria, China, Korea, neighboring nations such as Peru, Bolivia, Uruguay, and recently a wave from Senegal. Still, most people are olive skinned and dark haired. Many people here have beautiful light eyes. I am surprised by how much racial diversity I see in this city, as I was expecting something much more homogenous- although it is still notably much less diverse than other Latin American nations, or New York for that matter. Anyway, I knew that being mixed mestizo Colombian and EE Jewish would help me blend in. I’m still kind of surprised that it’s working…and there are definitely ups and downs.

 I wanted to be in a place where I could blend in because I thought that would give me a more authentic (whatever that means) experience, that by melting into the crowd I would see things or experience people in a way that might be changed before a foreigners eyes. I am rethinking this, now that I am here, in a huge city where it does not seem that anyone is going to change their behavior for another. This tactic would be much more useful in a small town where a foreigner was more of an event. This place is crawling with foreigners.

Aside from people who are actually porteños straight out asking me if I am from here (or just straight up asking “sos argentina?”), people asking me for directions, and always getting a Spanish language menu even when others get English, people on my program have also thought I was from here... One girl told me she thought I had already been living in the dorm, another had started speaking to me in Spanish when I first met her and not because she wanted to practice! Kira told me today that a few of the others had told her they were surprised the first day when I started speaking English! I think this is pretty funny. Also another girl in the IES center asked me if I worked there, which was flattering I guess cause I guess I looked like I knew what I was doing! Fake it till you make it. Although I do often feel as though I am disappointing Argentines when I start to speak and my accent/grammar/vocabulary is very American and elementary.

I also get much less aggressive comments in the street. We were warned about street harassment and the overtly-aggressive comments that North American women get on the street here.  I heard about it from IES, from Macalester, and from people who have visited this country/region. However, the comments I have gotten have not been anything worse than what I’ve been getting in NYC since I was thirteen – actually they are a lot nicer! It’s pretty normal to have a daily few “Que linda” or “hola hermosa” or even a "buen día" but nothing more. (Actually, on the contrary last week some man was blowing kisses at me on the subte and it took all the strength control I had from living in NYC for 20 years to keep from laughing, and one day when walking home with 3 friends, a man asked his friend “do you prefer the ones with glasses, or without?” you might be pleased to know that for once the girls with glasses won that little game!) Also people stare at other people here, which is funny coming from NY where we don’t really look at each other. Here it’s normal to stare – everyone stares at everyone. Not always because they think someone is attractive. (Although cab drivers and motocyclists will turn their heads WHILE DRIVING. I’m amazed there aren’t more accidents! )But I’ve over heard other girls on my program talking about the comments they garner which are louder, more physical and sometimes in broken English. I have also heard of girls who have had men follow them, pull over to talk to them, etc. Yesterday I was out with a Czech friend who is very blond with very big blue eyes. The things men said to her when we were together were vulgar and aggressive and made me understand why someone with her coloring would feel uncomfortable on the street. These all sound like extreme, uncomfortable and potentially scary situations that I am glad to be able to avoid by flying under the radar. When you are walking to school, you want to be left alone and not harassed. 

However, there are other situations in which it is nice to be approached or talked to…and I fly under the radar in those situations as well. As Aileen quipped the other night “we aren’t white, we aren’t black, we’re basically irrelevant!” She was joking, but the idea is that we are easy to glaze over in a crowd and we don’t symbolize anything new or exciting at face value.

I think it’s interesting to think about how our culture commodifies certain types of bodies and how the USA’s hegemonic culture have disseminated the idea of the desirable white, blonde woman – an ideal that many of the girls on my program embody. Their physicality has been turned into a commodity and is fetishized here similar to the way that Hispanic, black or Asian bodies are objectified/fetishized at home. The main difference is that their look is preferable at home as well…let’s not get me started on that one. Blending in in the street as a way to avoid gross or obnoxious catcalls is good. However, in other ways it is a bit frustrating.  American girls are fun for Argentines to meet – an American movie come to life. They symbolize an American culture that is fascinating and just out of reach in many other parts of the world.   I do not symbolize that culture, and upon first looking and meeting me (if I haven’t spoken yet) it is not clear that I am from somewhere else (my professor said to me during a class discussion on this topic: “It is interesting, our own prejudices…I look at this room and see so many American faces, but yours, it is not an American face”). This makes it a bit challenging to meet people in a city where people will come up and talk to you if you are a curiosity – and leave you alone if you are not.  I am not a novelty here – which I wanted- but it also means I am, at face value, uninteresting and not going to draw in people just by sitting there. I was excited to come someplace and be the norm, and not feel fetishized – only to find they are seeking a different kind of fetish. This is not a surprise to me intellectually (Latin America is famous for shadeism and preferential treatment of those with light skin, eyes and hair) but how much I feel the difference is a bit of a shock. I have never felt my race more than I do here – in a nation where the vast majority of people are people whose faces and histories look very much like my own.

I do not wish to offend anyone with this post – it is reflective of my own identity, experiences, reflections and ways of critically thinking about and engaging with my surroundings.  I believe our experiences are always racialized and reflective of the way our culture deals with race, whether we are at home or abroad. Since non-white americans are not the neutral, our experiences are inherently different. I also do no not want to seem as though I am saying I can’t make friends cause I blend in, or that others get approached solely because they look foreign – it’s just that I don’t get approached as much, and when I do, it is in a different way because there is sometimes a presumed familiarity (even if this familiarity does not, in reality, exist). I’m just trying to make some friends and it’s rough out here!